Travelling

Hello my dear,

I haven't posted is a long time and I am sorry for that. There is actually so much to say about all that has been happening in my life and how Generous God has been, how loving and the best care taker, He is with me!!
I am just gonna breafly say that God took care of my school intuition and noh he Will help me with outreach fees! He Loves me and I do not deserve that, but I am still loved, worth it or not, cause Jesus died for my sins!

I wanted to write about my trip to US, it was loooooooong but I made it, safely!
This time I will also write in Estonian, because there might be some people, who prefer their own language:)

So it all started in ESTONIA, TALLINN, August 28 and it all started and hour later than it should have!
So my first flight was late in Tallinn already and it made me think if I will make it to the next flight or not. Estonian air was very nice though, a small airplane but since the flight was only about 2h to Paris, it was no biggy! But when we landed in Paris I only had about 10-15 min to catch my flight and I knew I also had to check-in again to get my next ticket.. I don't know why they did that, but I knew there is no way I am gonna make it. And I knew it already before knewing how Huge the airport in PAris is.. Good that I wasn't wanting to run and try to catch my flight. SO I had to get a next flight to TX but the people at the service said I will have to fly through another state because there is no more straigt flights to TX. I got a flight through Atlanta, Georgia and I had about 2,5h before that flight.
Getting to the right place was hard, because like I mentioned, Paris airport is Huge!! I almost got lost and I had to ask for directions fiew times, but I made it, to get to the right place I had to get on a fast train, like the underground one, that took me to the right place. Btw did you know that even Paris airport after going through the security is like a fashion city.. they had a lot of high fashion brand stores and it looked like a huge mall somewhere nice! I was not even wanting to go in there and see what they sell, cause if I like something I know I would not be able to afford it, ever.. probably!
But waiting for my flight was good, I even got to be online for 15min, before I had to start paying for my internet time. So that gave me a chance to tell Courtney and Ralph that instead of 2pm I will be in Houston airport 23:05 !
My flight to Atlanta was quite nice. We had a nice big plane and I was seated under the window and there was no neighbours next to me, so I had space to get comfortable!
Flight to Atlanta was 9,5h and I was able to sleep a little bit, enjoy one meal on the plane, that was eatable, and watch two movies and a tv show! The last snack/meal was not so good and I think my tummy was not happy to eat it, and because I was in the air for so long I started feeling a bit sick as well.
When I made it to Atlanta and passed the security and thought oh I get to go to my gate pretty easily, I was wrong. Instead of going to pick up my luggage and checking it in again I was escorted to a box, made out of glass. I wasn't alone.. the guy who escorted said I have to go there and wait until they call my name, he did not say why I was sent there..scary huh?..
Well when I got in there there was quite a lot of people, also one guy from France, who was on the same flight with me, not one of them looked calm, or happy. I tried really hard not to think anything negative or be look scared, but inside I was! I had no idea what they will ask me or what happens next. I was basically the last one they asked to come out and talk to the security. They asked my why I was there, why for so long, and some other questions. I showed them my school letter so that saved me from talking a lot.. because I was sceared and couldn't get the words out at the beginnign, but after they checked my luggage, told me I can be in the States only 6months, telling me how good my english is that I sound like a valley girl, and telling me that they don't want to catch me working, also that I have to leave the country before 6months to be able to finish my program, and fly home, not stay here, I was able to go..!!! I was able to get to my gate and I still had enough time to grab something to drink&eat ! I was so releaved. I also saw the guy from France and he was very happy as well. I bet.. Anybody who goes through 30min of not knowing what is going on and being scared they will be sent back, will be happy when walking freely at the airport and waiting for the next flight!

From Atlanta to Houston, the flight was short but I was out! I slept the whole time, opened my eyes only for twice, I was just so tired of everything, I didn't even want to fly, but I had to. Seeing Houston in night lights made me happy to be there, to be in TX and not to worry about flying for another 2weeks!
Now I am here in TX, in Bryan, writing you a letter at 5AM, time when I should be sleeping, but I am not.. I think it might be "airplane tiredness" ha ! Well I am happy and blessed and loved!
God took good care of me while travelling!

Thank you everybody who supported me and prayed for me! Prayer's where heard !

Reis USA’sse:
Algas minu jaoks Eestist, 28 August ja lõppeb siis Texases õhtul kell 23:05. Lisaks sellele tuleb veel Bryan’isse ka jõuda!

Tänane päev on olnud väga pikk!
Lennujaama jõudes ei olnud mul veel tunnet, et lähen reisile, täitsa tavaline olek oli. Lisaks sellele meie lend hilines umbes tund aega, kuna nad ootasid teiselt lennult tulevat stjuuardessi. Seega jõudsime Pariisi tund aega hiljem ja ma jäin automaatselt maha oma järgmisest lennust Houston’isse.
Pidin minema siis custom service’isse, et broneerida uus lend Texasesse. Neil oli pakkuda lend, mis läheb läbi Atlanta, Georgia ja jõuab Houston’i lennujaama kell 23:05.
Lend Atlantasse algas väga hästi, kuid lõpp vajus juba käest ära, sest olla lennukis 9tundi järjest ei ole kõige mugavam ja lõbusam tegevus. Ma isegi tundsin, nagu mul oleks paha olla, umbes nagu bussi või laevaga sõites. Tundub, et ma ei talu väga pikki reise!
Jõudes siis Atlantasse, mul polnud õrna aimugi, mis mind ees ootab.

Minnes läbi security’st ei saanud ma kohe edasi liikuda lennujaama sisse, kõigepealt, mu pass pandi kollase äärega läbipaistvasse kilekotti ja paluti minna lähedal oleva töötaja juurde, kes mind siis pidi edasi eskortima. Alguses ma mõtlesin, et okei kuna olen international, siis nad ehk hoolitsevad mu eest ja saadavad mu õigesse kohta, kuid tegelikult see ei olnud nii, ma mõtlesin küll, et miks mu pass pandi sellisesse kotti ja varsti sain ma aru miks.
Nimelt mind saadeti siis kõrval asuvasse läbipaistvasse poksi, kus olid ka teised inimesed peale minu. Tundus, et nad kõik oleksid sattunud pahandustesse ja nüüd nad siis pidid ootama mingis eraldatud boksis, et teada saada, kas nad üldse saavad siseneda Ameerika riiki.
Seal boksis oli ka üks minuga samalt lennult tulnud prantslane. Ta ei paistnud väga rõõmus olevat. Ma muidugi seostasin seda kohta automaatselt ühe filmi olukorraga, kus briti tüdruk sisenedes Ameerika riiki, viidi ülekuulamisele, kuna ta oli eelnevalt oma visa ajast üle olnud. Ning minu boksi juures oli ka investigation room või noh ülekuulamisruum, intervjueerimisruum!
Mu süda peksis kõvasti terve selle aja seal oodates ja kuulates kuidas mõningad inimesed juba endast välja läksid ja vastavat kõnepruuki kasutasid.

Ma tundsun nagu on võimalus, et ma ei pääsegi USA’sse ja see ajas mind segadusse ja pani kartma. Ma üritasin kõigest väest siiski rahulikuna püsida, ja mitte paista ärritunud. Kui ma olin seal juba näinud enamus inimesi ära minevat, siis tuli ka minu kord minna turvatöötaja juurde, kes laua taga istus ja vastata küsimustele. Nimelt minult küsiti minu siinviibimise põhjust ja rääkides, et olen vabatahtlikuna programmis nimega YWAM , oli mul hea meel, et olin koolipoolt vastava kirja kaasa võtnud. Kui nad küsisid, et kus ma inglise keelt olen õppinud, siis nad olid imestunud, et see on saavutatud Eestis olles, kuna ühel turvatöötajal olevat sõber eestist, kelle inglise keel on vene aksendiga. Minu puhul seda ei olnud muidugi, nad ütlesid, et olen nagu Valley girl, mida iganes see peaks ka tähendama! Ha..

Edasi palusid nad mul tuua ära oma kohver ja minna sellega edasi järgmise mehe juurde, kes pidi minult samuti küsimusi esitama ja veenduma minu kohvri sisus. See oli natukene naljakas, kuidas se mees võttis lahti mu kohvri ja uuris läbi mu kõik asjad, seega ta nägi ka minu isiklikke esemeid, mida tavaliselt  võõrastele ei näidata (aluspesu jne). Sama tegi ta ka mu seljakoti ja booklet kotiga. Samuti ta küsis, kui suure summaga ma reisin, sest rahakotis mul ju raha ei olnud, kuid ta oli rahul, nähes mu suurt „rahakukrut“. Seejärel pidin minema sama mehe juurde tagasi ja ta pani mulle templid igalepoole ja ütles, et võin Ameerikas viibida ainult 6kuud, peale seda peaksin lahkuma, kuid see peaks toimuma ennem kui 6kuud läbi saab ja seejärel tagasi tulles minema mingisse kontorisse, kus ma saan pikendust. Kuid ta ütles, et kui see programm läbi saab, siis tuleks ikka koju minna peale seda!
Samuti lisati, et ma ei tohi töötada, et they don’t want to catch me working, I got that !
Andes passi tagasi, saingi tulema, nüüd ootan oma lendu, sest mul on veel aega. Tahaksin väga Starbucksi minna ja ühe kohveiini laksu osaliseks saada :D
Süüa tuleb ka, sest lennuki toit, mis meile viimasena veel anti, polnud just kõige parem, maitsvaim!
Njäm lähme siis USA burxi sööma :D

Shine

This week that I had was just amazing!
I was able to participate this event called Shine, held in my capital city, Tallinn!
Week full of ministry, workshops, youth festival, fellowship, international people and God!
Every day we had something new and every day I felt more closer to God, and I was more inspired to take time for Him, to talk to him to worship Him!
I just want to tell you what happened in my life during this week!
First of all, prayer room: we had this cool room for people to sign up for an hour or more, to go in there, take time off from shine and just pray. Pray for our nation, the people we are going to meet, the speakers, the other youth who were there, pray for ourselves, have a good time of fellowship! It totally worked. I was able to take more and more time for God, and I just loved it. The more I went there the more I yearned for Jesus!!
Then being brave and going on a outreach in the city. We had to choose one location where we wanted to serve our community and I chose beach outreach.. but it came out it was not a beach, it was a park, where people were relaxing and hanging out. We had to divide into groups and then while one group was praying for the people in the park and for another team, that team had to go to people and show them pictures. And whenever they were willing to take time off to see the pictures they were asked to show what pictures would go with their life at the moment or a situation they're in at the moment.
Our team was able to talk to fiew people and ask them questions and invite them to our events. I think I wanted to talk to them more about Jesus, God but at that moment I didn't have the words to speak out. I just prayed that those hearts would be opened for Jesus, so that He can take over!
Also meeting some youth from diffeent countries, who speak totally different language, but yet we have one GOD, one saviour, JESUS. The week I spent with those youth I felt so shy a lot of times. Kinda like all my courageness was taken away and I was a lot of times very shy thorwards people and meeting new people. I don't know what happened to me but I think it might have something to do with me getting to spend more time in a prayer room because of that!
I was able to meet some wonderful people though who I will miss and who I will remember, pray for and thank God for!
I also heard a new way of worship. Whenever we had evening events in Freedom square, there was a band, I call it a worship band, because I was truly able to worship God and hear their testimonies through rapping and singing! I felt touched by God several times, when listening to them and I am so thankful to you God for that!
And then also, during this week, something incredible happened to me, twice!!
First time, when God spoke to me this week was during a worship song, when I was praying to God and I was so into worshipping him, suddenly a lady I did not know came to me and told me she had a prophecy from God to me.
She started telling me how much God loves me and He has heard my cries, my tears and He has made me golden shoues to walk in and he will send me out to serve Him.
I started crying, GOD spoke to me through a person I did not know, but who was a servant of God. I was overwhelmed by joy and tears and happiness, I didn't know what to say but to hug her and thank her for coming to me because she was the answer to my prayers. God spoke to me!! He must love me.
Then second time God spoke to me was on our last day, end of our week when we had prayed over the countries and the people from different countries..first of all I want to tell you how amazing that was, we made a bridge out of our hands and the people from different countries started walking through it as we blessed them and after that we prayed for their country. We did that with every country participating  Shine week, and I tell you, that was a blessing to pray over those people and their mission in their homeland!
Then after that it happened: A girl I also did not know came to me and said: I was praying with some girls and while we were praying I somehow saw you surronded by kids. I don't know why I saw that but I thought I should come to you and say that!
I was shocked, Again!! I just sat down and stared at the floor.. what is up with God, He really wanted to talk to me. I was really amazed how much God can love me, me who I really don't deserve His love, but yet, He loves me so much, that I am to die for!!

This was my week in Tallinn!!
After this week my prayer has been to be a blessing in someone's life. I really want to walk with Christ every day, nothing is better in this world than God's love for me and my relationship with Him, my Abba!!
Praise the Lord for being so Good to me !!

Love you,
Liis

Mid July

Hello, gooood morning my dear blog!

   I am again one step closer to August, to school and it seems like my schedule before that is already busy! I do however Like to be busy, to do something, be somewhere and luckly I get to spend a whole week with my dad and visit my grandmother who I haven't seen in so long. I love my family and it is always a pleasent time with them!
But to think that everything comes down to one date - August 7th -  the day I will find out if the US embassy will give me the Visa to attend YWAM or not.. This is So very exciting yet so frightning. I am told all the time not to be afraid but I cannot help it at the moment. I will continue to pray that God would take my fear away so that I will not be afraid, but to have peace in my heart and the right words in my mouth to speak up at the interview.
And to think about it.. when I get the visa.. I have so little time to babaysit all the kids I have been babysitting, to see my friends and family, to gather all my money I have made or got through some amazing people who have been so generous to me, and then it would be time to fly and follow my God with the dreams I have had in me for a Long time!! To have Faith in God, that He will take me to it and through it!! Why else do I have -Today Go in Faith- written on my arm/wrist.

Bible talkes about one boy who had demons in him and his father was greatly conserned and worried. He brought his son to the disciples to heal him, but they could not do it and in Matthew 17:17 it says " O unbelieving and perverse generation," Jesus replied, "how long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy here to me."
18 Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of the boy, and he was healed from that moment.
19 Then the disciples came to Jesus in private and asked, "Why couldn't we drive it out? "

20 "He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."   
if we just have as small faith as mustard seed.. and to think.. mustard seed is TINY

To have faith in God. To trust Him that He truly knows what is best for me, when something is best for me and how something is best for me!
He loves me, doesn't he!! So He must know the BEst for Me!

Please be prayng with me, to have Faith in God and that all my fears would melt away, to have peace in my heart when I go to the embassy.

How funny.. It is mid July and I am already conserned what will happen in August.. that again reminds me the wize words of Jesus in Luke 12:22

Then Jesus said to his disciples; "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. 23Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. 
24Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them And how much more valuable you are than birds!
25Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? 26Since you cannot do this verly little thing, why do you worry about the rest?


I should not worry about August, since I still have about 3 weeks to raise my 2500€ for the school.
Oh God help me not to worry about it !

Have a blessed day, and do not worry about today!

Liis

Summertime so busy

It is already July and I have been busy enough to miss my home! To be home with my dear cat and just enjoy the quietness around my home.
Summer has already reached the month of July and I have been to two camps in a row. I can feel how my body is just tired and my soul is looking for some peace!
I haven't written in a long time and I kinda miss that. I miss writing down my feelings (yes we sometimes have a lot of feelings, like my friend likes to say) wothout being afraid who might see them!
This time of the year will be somewhat emotional for me.
My closest friends are leaving for Texas very very soon, and my grandpa will return home as well. I haven't even spent so much time with them but already it is time for them to leave.
 Now I undestand what: time goes by so fast, means, because it has literally went by so very fast that I feel like I have missed some of the days.
But I can't tell you that I have slept through a lot of them because I haven't. It is just the fact that when you spend time with your people you simply don't have enough hours in one day!
I wonder how much sleep Jesus got when he was on earth! I mean he loved his disciples and the people he spent time with. Did he ever slept in? I don't think so! I bet they used as much of the hours in one day, they could! I have to ask Jesus one day!
But coming back to the summertime and the fact that it is already July.. Ohh my gooodness!!!
Is it just me, the fact that I am a girl, or it is just me?
I have so many different feelings coming up about September, that I just Cannot wait to see what God has planned for me!
I have definitely learned how to be more patient, how to be humble, how to share my dreams with people and I hope that God will continue to teach me and I am willing to accept whatever needs to be done in my life. 
And whatever happens in September, I know that God has the best plan for Me! Because knowing me I know that God knows me more. 
Jeremiah 1:5  

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew^a you,

before you were born I set you apart;

I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”

I mean how cool is that right?

So I have to trust my future in God hands and really, with all my heart. I am hopefully going to learn this cause if I don't I will be in trouble.

I am just so very excited to see what's gonna happen!

Ohh dear blog,

I just pray that I won't give up and keep on going in faith and hope, I have given in God!

"Dear God please be with me to comfort me and to encourage me throughout the summer, please keep me away from evil and the thoughts that are from evil! I want to be humple and teachable and I pray that my heart would be opened to you, soft like clay that you can use in molding me the way you see is the best, I pray this in Jesus name, Aamen"

  

    Today I feel like YWAM is next door waiting for me to step in.
But fear gets me even before I raise my foot outside of this door.
       "Will I raise enough money? Why should people even want to support me? Why should they be interested in what I have in my heart? People in my church don't even know me and my business is now their business? My desire is now their desire? "

A lot of questions like these are in my mind today and have been in my mind before today.
Luckly I have been told that God's will is God's bill. And if God brought me to it, He will bring me through it. And even if I won't raise money for the school I still have to Love Him and remember myself that He's timing is something else and He knows me more then anybody. SO He would not want to bring me down but instead, to lift me up in a new way!

Romans 12:12
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
This verse has been in my mind and I know I still have so much to practise and to remind myself every single day!
And it continues...
13 Share with God's people who are in need. Practise hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.
15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people low position. Do not be conceited

Prayer

During Sunday meeting I kept on thinking about Thursday prayer night at my church with some people. I was so happy to be there since I had only been there once before but I felt that everybody who cather for those prayer night really seek God and spend time on talking with our Father.
I felt a great need to be there with those people and just pray to God.
After Adu Saar spoke about self-repair and how we should look for Gods grace.. we all could share a prayer request and I thought I would share mine with everybody as well but I didn't. . my personal prayer for that evening was for my classmates I had known for 9years.. since we were 7 until the end of 9th grade. Few days before our prayer night I got an invitation to go to our class reunion and my heart started beating really fast and I had this excitement in me. I understood right then that this is something I have to go to. I really didn't feel happy about that feeling but how can I say no to God when He is calling me to do something. The deal is that there was no one in our class who believed in God. Now after many many years there is me and one boy. We both have accepted Christ into our lives.
After this change in me I think there is not a whole lot people who know who I am now.
I have always been ashamed of who I am or what I believe in. For some it is a sign of not really loving God and I agree. I haven't been very sure in God or trusted Him. But I do know.. I don't want to make up any excuses but me..who I am.. I am very shy and easily influenced in my life . And I am still trying not to be afraid of people and what they think about me.. it is really hard to let go of the past and to let go of that fear when the entire life you have been depending on the opinion of other people. I know it is possible to just let go of it but I can't seem to let go. Sounds easy... Let Go! But I haven't learned how to do that ..not yet..
So my prayer was that I would not be a chicken and be afraid to go to that reunion. I know I need to go there so that I would grow In God and what a blessing that would be in the lives of my classmates.
I have prayed for those people and for being useful to God. I don't want to give this oportunity away and I really wanted to pray for that night with the people at the church but I didnt say my prayer out loud.. instead I listened what everybody said and I felt better about myself because I had prayed for this situation by myself. Who else knows my heart more then God.
So hearing what has been going on with others I saw how much more in need they are. In my country a lot of people have lost their jobs or are very ill. When we prayed for them and what has been going on I cried out to Lord. I wanted to pray out loud and suddenly I wasn't so important anymore.. it was more important to pray for those who cant pray for themselves.. people who don't know our Saviour.. their own Father. I remembered a video I had seen from Uganda where a young man I believe had stolen a motorcycle and the people in that village decided to punich him to condemn him for what he had done. A lot of the young man raised their hand against him.. they started throwing bricks at him.. litteraly big red bricks and when he fell down they stared beating him up and beating him with a wooden board.. it was all on tape.. he was laying down .. he had nothing to protect himself with..
I just cried..I was shoked that people are thinking they can judge people like this. The guy got on his feet and started walking away I am sure he was weak and didn't have much strengt left. And other's kept on throwing bricks at him and no one went and helped him everybody who wasn't beating him were just standing there and watching.. so finally.. they started beating him more..he collapsed and there was one guy who punished him the most.. what he did ... he put him on fire!!!! On Fire!! That young man died in front of the village like that and all of the people who were involved talked in their language in front of the camera like they were hero's.
It was absolutely terrible.. now I do not understand the language they spoke but still... they killed that young men..didn't give him a second chance or anything.. just like that evil worked in them as they were brutal and had no mercy .
I prayed whenever I watched that vidoe that God would forgive those men and they would repent. I prayed that they would get to know JEsus!
So during our prayer night I cried out to God that he would forgive them that those people would hear the good news of Jesus who can save them from themselves and from this evil world.
This just broke me. The entire prayer time I cried out to my Lord. Asking for forgivness for me and for those who do not know Him.
It was so good to talk to my Father and just cry out my heart to Him.. like he would not know what is in my heart.. He does but He wants us to speak up to talk to him as well. I did ..that night I talked to him.. I called his name and I felt peace in my heart.. walking home from that prayer time felt really good. Like a big burden had fallen off my shoulders.
He is merciful and I will pray for that village..that Someone would bring good news about Jesus and our Lord to them!
Our God is Good and we don't deserve him. I know I don't but He still loves me and wants to be with me every single day!
How loving He is I will never understand.. Until the day I meet Him and get to go Home!! 

Hungry for more

Hello my dear blog. I haven't spoken to you for a long time now. I felt like I need to write someone. where to start from. This new year that is already been started has been such a blessing to me. I am just so amazed how merciful my God has been. He has provided me with everything I need and I have tried not to worry because He has everything under the control. I had a wonderful Christmas time and New Years even and camp with my beloved grandpa. He has been so loving and caring that I just feel I don't deserve such a love he has. So to think about how much more God loves me.. it makes me cry out my soul to Him. How amazed I am by the people God has given me.
Recently I learned how to be in contact with Father all the time.. to have a day with Him. Thanks to lifechurch I learned that if you keep ongoing communication, instant obedience to God, a daily desperation for God we can have a day with God every single day of our lives.
"Since we live in the Spirit let us keep in step with the Spirit" Galatians 5:25

''Better is one day in your courts then thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God then dwell in the tents of the wicked.'' Psalm 84:10

This reminds me I haven't told you about this one school that I desire to attend. I thirst for more and I believe this time away can help me to gain more of God. I want to go to the world and show how much God loves the people but in order to do that I feel I need to grow and be equipped with 'food' for my spirit. I want to take time off from my life at home and go away to become a better disciple and serve Him with more then I have until now. I like this school. I like their statement and what they do and believe I am ready to be there. I haven't sent all my application papers away but I will do that very soon and pray everything will go well. I think there is a reason why this school is in my heart and why I desire something more then I have right now. I want to be challenged.

What is a YWAM DTS?

The YWAM DTS is a 5-6 month Christian missionary training school that focuses on interactive learning, Christian discipleship, and outreach. At YWAM Madison, we place a high priority on one-on-one discipleship and mentoring. We also have local outreaches throughout the first three months of the school. Our students who complete the DTS are prepared to serve God in traditional missions, the workplace, and in school.

The DTS provides an essential foundation in Christian character as students grow in their understanding of God and who He has called them to be.

I dont want to sound like I have been accepted.. no not at all.. this dream is in the hands of my Father.
Nothing is impossible for those who believe. I believe I am made for something big and there is a purpose just for me. I want to be fed with the Word and filled with the Holy Spirit and I desire more then I have right now. I desire more of God and the love He wants us to have. I want to serve in every way I am able to, to care for those who are forgotten with the care and love from God.