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Sunday, January 29, 2012

Prayer

During Sunday meeting I kept on thinking about Thursday prayer night at my church with some people. I was so happy to be there since I had only been there once before but I felt that everybody who cather for those prayer night really seek God and spend time on talking with our Father.
I felt a great need to be there with those people and just pray to God.
After Adu Saar spoke about self-repair and how we should look for Gods grace.. we all could share a prayer request and I thought I would share mine with everybody as well but I didn't. . my personal prayer for that evening was for my classmates I had known for 9years.. since we were 7 until the end of 9th grade. Few days before our prayer night I got an invitation to go to our class reunion and my heart started beating really fast and I had this excitement in me. I understood right then that this is something I have to go to. I really didn't feel happy about that feeling but how can I say no to God when He is calling me to do something. The deal is that there was no one in our class who believed in God. Now after many many years there is me and one boy. We both have accepted Christ into our lives.
After this change in me I think there is not a whole lot people who know who I am now.
I have always been ashamed of who I am or what I believe in. For some it is a sign of not really loving God and I agree. I haven't been very sure in God or trusted Him. But I do know.. I don't want to make up any excuses but me..who I am.. I am very shy and easily influenced in my life . And I am still trying not to be afraid of people and what they think about me.. it is really hard to let go of the past and to let go of that fear when the entire life you have been depending on the opinion of other people. I know it is possible to just let go of it but I can't seem to let go. Sounds easy... Let Go! But I haven't learned how to do that ..not yet..
So my prayer was that I would not be a chicken and be afraid to go to that reunion. I know I need to go there so that I would grow In God and what a blessing that would be in the lives of my classmates.
I have prayed for those people and for being useful to God. I don't want to give this oportunity away and I really wanted to pray for that night with the people at the church but I didnt say my prayer out loud.. instead I listened what everybody said and I felt better about myself because I had prayed for this situation by myself. Who else knows my heart more then God.
So hearing what has been going on with others I saw how much more in need they are. In my country a lot of people have lost their jobs or are very ill. When we prayed for them and what has been going on I cried out to Lord. I wanted to pray out loud and suddenly I wasn't so important anymore.. it was more important to pray for those who cant pray for themselves.. people who don't know our Saviour.. their own Father. I remembered a video I had seen from Uganda where a young man I believe had stolen a motorcycle and the people in that village decided to punich him to condemn him for what he had done. A lot of the young man raised their hand against him.. they started throwing bricks at him.. litteraly big red bricks and when he fell down they stared beating him up and beating him with a wooden board.. it was all on tape.. he was laying down .. he had nothing to protect himself with..
I just cried..I was shoked that people are thinking they can judge people like this. The guy got on his feet and started walking away I am sure he was weak and didn't have much strengt left. And other's kept on throwing bricks at him and no one went and helped him everybody who wasn't beating him were just standing there and watching.. so finally.. they started beating him more..he collapsed and there was one guy who punished him the most.. what he did ... he put him on fire!!!! On Fire!! That young man died in front of the village like that and all of the people who were involved talked in their language in front of the camera like they were hero's.
It was absolutely terrible.. now I do not understand the language they spoke but still... they killed that young men..didn't give him a second chance or anything.. just like that evil worked in them as they were brutal and had no mercy .
I prayed whenever I watched that vidoe that God would forgive those men and they would repent. I prayed that they would get to know JEsus!
So during our prayer night I cried out to God that he would forgive them that those people would hear the good news of Jesus who can save them from themselves and from this evil world.
This just broke me. The entire prayer time I cried out to my Lord. Asking for forgivness for me and for those who do not know Him.
It was so good to talk to my Father and just cry out my heart to Him.. like he would not know what is in my heart.. He does but He wants us to speak up to talk to him as well. I did ..that night I talked to him.. I called his name and I felt peace in my heart.. walking home from that prayer time felt really good. Like a big burden had fallen off my shoulders.
He is merciful and I will pray for that village..that Someone would bring good news about Jesus and our Lord to them!
Our God is Good and we don't deserve him. I know I don't but He still loves me and wants to be with me every single day!
How loving He is I will never understand.. Until the day I meet Him and get to go Home!! 

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Hungry for more

Hello my dear blog. I haven't spoken to you for a long time now. I felt like I need to write someone. where to start from. This new year that is already been started has been such a blessing to me. I am just so amazed how merciful my God has been. He has provided me with everything I need and I have tried not to worry because He has everything under the control. I had a wonderful Christmas time and New Years even and camp with my beloved grandpa. He has been so loving and caring that I just feel I don't deserve such a love he has. So to think about how much more God loves me.. it makes me cry out my soul to Him. How amazed I am by the people God has given me.
Recently I learned how to be in contact with Father all the time.. to have a day with Him. Thanks to lifechurch I learned that if you keep ongoing communication, instant obedience to God, a daily desperation for God we can have a day with God every single day of our lives.
"Since we live in the Spirit let us keep in step with the Spirit" Galatians 5:25

''Better is one day in your courts then thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God then dwell in the tents of the wicked.'' Psalm 84:10



This reminds me I haven't told you about this one school that I desire to attend. I thirst for more and I believe this time away can help me to gain more of God. I want to go to the world and show how much God loves the people but in order to do that I feel I need to grow and be equipped with 'food' for my spirit. I want to take time off from my life at home and go away to become a better disciple and serve Him with more then I have until now. I like this school. I like their statement and what they do and believe I am ready to be there. I haven't sent all my application papers away but I will do that very soon and pray everything will go well. I think there is a reason why this school is in my heart and why I desire something more then I have right now. I want to be challenged.



What is a YWAM DTS?

The YWAM DTS is a 5-6 month Christian missionary training school that focuses on interactive learning, Christian discipleship, and outreach. At YWAM Madison, we place a high priority on one-on-one discipleship and mentoring. We also have local outreaches throughout the first three months of the school. Our students who complete the DTS are prepared to serve God in traditional missions, the workplace, and in school.
The DTS provides an essential foundation in Christian character as students grow in their understanding of God and who He has called them to be.

I dont want to sound like I have been accepted.. no not at all.. this dream is in the hands of my Father.
Nothing is impossible for those who believe. I believe I am made for something big and there is a purpose just for me. I want to be fed with the Word and filled with the Holy Spirit and I desire more then I have right now. I desire more of God and the love He wants us to have. I want to serve in every way I am able to, to care for those who are forgotten with the care and love from God.