Prayer

During Sunday meeting I kept on thinking about Thursday prayer night at my church with some people. I was so happy to be there since I had only been there once before but I felt that everybody who cather for those prayer night really seek God and spend time on talking with our Father.
I felt a great need to be there with those people and just pray to God.
After Adu Saar spoke about self-repair and how we should look for Gods grace.. we all could share a prayer request and I thought I would share mine with everybody as well but I didn't. . my personal prayer for that evening was for my classmates I had known for 9years.. since we were 7 until the end of 9th grade. Few days before our prayer night I got an invitation to go to our class reunion and my heart started beating really fast and I had this excitement in me. I understood right then that this is something I have to go to. I really didn't feel happy about that feeling but how can I say no to God when He is calling me to do something. The deal is that there was no one in our class who believed in God. Now after many many years there is me and one boy. We both have accepted Christ into our lives.
After this change in me I think there is not a whole lot people who know who I am now.
I have always been ashamed of who I am or what I believe in. For some it is a sign of not really loving God and I agree. I haven't been very sure in God or trusted Him. But I do know.. I don't want to make up any excuses but me..who I am.. I am very shy and easily influenced in my life . And I am still trying not to be afraid of people and what they think about me.. it is really hard to let go of the past and to let go of that fear when the entire life you have been depending on the opinion of other people. I know it is possible to just let go of it but I can't seem to let go. Sounds easy... Let Go! But I haven't learned how to do that ..not yet..
So my prayer was that I would not be a chicken and be afraid to go to that reunion. I know I need to go there so that I would grow In God and what a blessing that would be in the lives of my classmates.
I have prayed for those people and for being useful to God. I don't want to give this oportunity away and I really wanted to pray for that night with the people at the church but I didnt say my prayer out loud.. instead I listened what everybody said and I felt better about myself because I had prayed for this situation by myself. Who else knows my heart more then God.
So hearing what has been going on with others I saw how much more in need they are. In my country a lot of people have lost their jobs or are very ill. When we prayed for them and what has been going on I cried out to Lord. I wanted to pray out loud and suddenly I wasn't so important anymore.. it was more important to pray for those who cant pray for themselves.. people who don't know our Saviour.. their own Father. I remembered a video I had seen from Uganda where a young man I believe had stolen a motorcycle and the people in that village decided to punich him to condemn him for what he had done. A lot of the young man raised their hand against him.. they started throwing bricks at him.. litteraly big red bricks and when he fell down they stared beating him up and beating him with a wooden board.. it was all on tape.. he was laying down .. he had nothing to protect himself with..
I just cried..I was shoked that people are thinking they can judge people like this. The guy got on his feet and started walking away I am sure he was weak and didn't have much strengt left. And other's kept on throwing bricks at him and no one went and helped him everybody who wasn't beating him were just standing there and watching.. so finally.. they started beating him more..he collapsed and there was one guy who punished him the most.. what he did ... he put him on fire!!!! On Fire!! That young man died in front of the village like that and all of the people who were involved talked in their language in front of the camera like they were hero's.
It was absolutely terrible.. now I do not understand the language they spoke but still... they killed that young men..didn't give him a second chance or anything.. just like that evil worked in them as they were brutal and had no mercy .
I prayed whenever I watched that vidoe that God would forgive those men and they would repent. I prayed that they would get to know JEsus!
So during our prayer night I cried out to God that he would forgive them that those people would hear the good news of Jesus who can save them from themselves and from this evil world.
This just broke me. The entire prayer time I cried out to my Lord. Asking for forgivness for me and for those who do not know Him.
It was so good to talk to my Father and just cry out my heart to Him.. like he would not know what is in my heart.. He does but He wants us to speak up to talk to him as well. I did ..that night I talked to him.. I called his name and I felt peace in my heart.. walking home from that prayer time felt really good. Like a big burden had fallen off my shoulders.
He is merciful and I will pray for that village..that Someone would bring good news about Jesus and our Lord to them!
Our God is Good and we don't deserve him. I know I don't but He still loves me and wants to be with me every single day!
How loving He is I will never understand.. Until the day I meet Him and get to go Home!! 

Hungry for more

Hello my dear blog. I haven't spoken to you for a long time now. I felt like I need to write someone. where to start from. This new year that is already been started has been such a blessing to me. I am just so amazed how merciful my God has been. He has provided me with everything I need and I have tried not to worry because He has everything under the control. I had a wonderful Christmas time and New Years even and camp with my beloved grandpa. He has been so loving and caring that I just feel I don't deserve such a love he has. So to think about how much more God loves me.. it makes me cry out my soul to Him. How amazed I am by the people God has given me.
Recently I learned how to be in contact with Father all the time.. to have a day with Him. Thanks to lifechurch I learned that if you keep ongoing communication, instant obedience to God, a daily desperation for God we can have a day with God every single day of our lives.
"Since we live in the Spirit let us keep in step with the Spirit" Galatians 5:25

''Better is one day in your courts then thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God then dwell in the tents of the wicked.'' Psalm 84:10

This reminds me I haven't told you about this one school that I desire to attend. I thirst for more and I believe this time away can help me to gain more of God. I want to go to the world and show how much God loves the people but in order to do that I feel I need to grow and be equipped with 'food' for my spirit. I want to take time off from my life at home and go away to become a better disciple and serve Him with more then I have until now. I like this school. I like their statement and what they do and believe I am ready to be there. I haven't sent all my application papers away but I will do that very soon and pray everything will go well. I think there is a reason why this school is in my heart and why I desire something more then I have right now. I want to be challenged.

What is a YWAM DTS?

The YWAM DTS is a 5-6 month Christian missionary training school that focuses on interactive learning, Christian discipleship, and outreach. At YWAM Madison, we place a high priority on one-on-one discipleship and mentoring. We also have local outreaches throughout the first three months of the school. Our students who complete the DTS are prepared to serve God in traditional missions, the workplace, and in school.

The DTS provides an essential foundation in Christian character as students grow in their understanding of God and who He has called them to be.

I dont want to sound like I have been accepted.. no not at all.. this dream is in the hands of my Father.
Nothing is impossible for those who believe. I believe I am made for something big and there is a purpose just for me. I want to be fed with the Word and filled with the Holy Spirit and I desire more then I have right now. I desire more of God and the love He wants us to have. I want to serve in every way I am able to, to care for those who are forgotten with the care and love from God.

Barcelona

I almost forgot to write about my little adventure I recently had.
I had this amazing opportunity to go to Spain. I went there on the 17th of Novemebr and got to spend the weekend over there. It was my first time to be in Spain and I absolutley loved it.
When I already got to the airport I was so excited and nervous about flying because it felt like Summer of TX all over the place. this excitement and body shaking feeling was with me this time as well. I knew I am going to SPain but I guess I felt like going to TX again. I wish..
Anyways..
It was very cool to be on a plain again and fly. Even though my stomach was soooo emty the whole flight time and I didn't want to buy anything on the plain because of the cost of food.. So I just tried not to think about the food.. it almost happened.. I ate one cornbar and it was yummy to my tummy.
So my time over there.
I got to Spain and it was absolutely beautiful, the city and the buildings in it and the people who made it so alive with cars and motorbikes and scooters and talkers..loud talking all the time :D
My first night I was just all over the place with my eyes hooked on buildings and passing people. I didn't even mind walking to my hotel/hostel. It took a long time but I didn't really care. It was just breath taking and love everywhere!

I got to visit a lot of cool places and got fooled by a local/indian guy.. But I didn't care that much.
I mean the parrots and the palm trees and the houses and the parks and the people and the weather and the sunshine and the mountains and the stores and the fruits and the streets and the beach.. it all covered that little incident with that guy at the beach with his coconuts.
I took a lots of pictures and bought some yummy stuff. They even sell frozen joghurt..not as good as Spoons one but I was happy to have some. Also oreos they have and some other american stuff.
Ohh wow. To think back about my trip. I felt so nice and calm and relaxed over there. Kaili was kinda like my tour guide taking me to places and I am so grateful for her being there and showing me so much. Thanks to her I visited La Sagrada Familia and it was just Amazingly beautiful. All the details of that building just made me wow all the time I was admireing that place. We didn't go in because of that LONG line and i didn't really have money to buy the ticket. But even from outside it was gorgeous so I bet it looked amazing from inside.
Also one of my favourite places was park Güell. The houses and that park with amazing overlook for the town and mountains you could see surrounding that beautiful city. We even climbed one.. smaller one but still high enough to see the entire city.

People..locals where also something I really enjoyed.. the fact they don't really speak english was challenging and exciting. I got to use all of my spanish skills from movies I've watched as a kid. Just made me laugh a lot of times..

Hopefully I get to upload a lot of pictures soon!
I will say this again: I love Barcelona
and am so thankful to God who helped me to get there and who took good care of both of us :)
Love you
Liis

Barcelona was Beautiful and I said A lot of times. I'm in love with Barcelona.
I saw international college and thought about going there already. I made all kind of plans to go back and stay there for at least 2months. Well maybe someday. But only if it's not only me who wants to go there. If I have the yes word from God to go there.

Getting closer

   Well today we are one step closer to Christmas and I actually forgot that today is when we light our first candle and it has always been a big thing for me personally. Since I was a kid I was somehow apart of this event.. lighting our first candle and countind down the weeks til Christmas day.
When I was a kid I remember how we had this angel thing..where you could place four candles and then the angels started to move in a circle and make a beautiful sound...
    Now I am not a kid anymore and things have changed, but not the holiday feeling and the feeling of waiting for something to come.. As a kid ofcourse you wait for the presents and getting your stockings filled with candies by Santa's little helpers.. I will put my stocking on a window to continue the childhood fun but not because of the candies.. maybe for one or two.. :)
But anyways my point is that how wonderful it is to step into a Chirstmas-time. I love the atmosphere arount my hometown.. all the christmas lights and decorations on windows. The joy of snow (even though we are still waiting on our snow) and people being happy. I wish this would be all the time but I think there might be a special reason why this is the way it is.. Because know it or not it is the joy of our Christ who's Birthday is coming. Our saviour who was born on earth. I am waiting on that selebration to come.
And even though everything is not so wonderful all the time and I have been struggling a lot and putting this fake smile on my face for people.. I am not fake-smiling over Christmas. It is the time of the year when I get to see my dear papa coming to Estonia and also one of my favourite seasons .. Season of Jesus Birthday :)
So to my blogger: I wish you a happy and lovely time of Christ.mas !

Have a blessed day my dear
Liis.

How Happy I am

Hello my dear blogger!

I just wanted to share with you how blessed I am to know Christ and people who belong to Him. He has blessed me and taken good care of me.
These last weeks have been crazy with babysitting my kids and preparing myself for the possibility of opening a daycare. Well today is Friday and once again I feel good and happy I get to rest from my busy week. I love children and I know there is something I have to do with them in the future but God hasn't really showed me what exactly I need to do.
I will wait on Him !!

But I want to share that God has blessed me with a new computer recently and He used his awesome team to do that for me. So all of my friends who were apart of this.. once again. AITÄH TEILE :)

here is the first video I made with my new MacBook !

" But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear" 
Matthew 13:16
Thank you
Bye Bye!! 

Wonderful weekend

     

           

     I had one of the most wonderful weekends in a long time. I had the opportunity to participate in Women's Conference held in Tallinn. This was taken care of someone who wanted me to be there. I am sure God was in it and gave someone heart to help me in paying for this. All of it was covered and I believe it was God using someone to bless me. Cause I really needed this weekend.
I have been feeling down and lonely for a long time and my hopes for the conference were to get some new fresh air in me.
The women who cam were from different countries and nations and it made it so special. Because God united all of us there to be a blessing to each other and encourage and love one another. I knew nobody going there. I knew Janice and I knew Beth would be coming but that was all. So already the first day of conference (for me a first day for others second day) one lady came to me asking where I am from and so the discussion lead us to become friends. She is from The Netherlands and I think God sent her to me and she told that to me as well, That God had put that into her heart to come and talk to me. Awesome what can I say. And that she is originally from Indonesia.. place that has been in my dreams, in my heart ever since my school task on doing a research for two countries and Indonesia was one of them. This truly made me happy to meet someone from there and someone who follows Christ.
So my first friend at the conference was her!!
This was already the first nice thing during my time there.
Also different topics we talked about. I will share some of it with you so you would know what it was about. The topic was Spiritual Balance.

So on Friday we talked about Balance.
Psalm 93; 104
Habakkuk 3:20
Proverbs 14
Do we really trust God. He is the best to look for our heart, to give us life.
Slow down, be still and wait for the Lord. This is something I struggle with especially when I see people who are doing something extra interesting or cool and something I would love to do. Then very often I attend to make plans or start thinking oh this is something I would love to do I wonder what I can do to start as well. Also with places where people go often after I hear I start thinking how wonderful it would be for me to be there as well and then I just hope this is what's going to happen in the future. But not really. My plans are far away from God. I have to stay still and wait for Him to tell me what is for me.
I start a illusion. But God loves me way too much for that.
What we talked about also was how God sometimes uses the devastation's or broken dreams in our life to help us. This I have got to feel on my skin. How my dreams have been shattered but for a greater purpose in my life I must believe.
What the lady talked about or said was that People are sometimes sent to shatter our dreams so we would see there's something wrong with our soul. How this spoke to me. This is what I have felt these last months. Shattered dreams. But God has wanted to show me that something is wrong with my soul and I have to let this be fixed. Otherwise I will be in the darkness for a long time. And Soul is something we have to keep.. if we loose our soul then we have nothing left. Nothing matter anymore.
It is also much easier to deal with others pain than our own. But he gave His life so we would know God loves us. And the pain was supposed to be on Jesus. Jesus helps us to carry our burdens.
 God is not using us to squeese the last drop out of us. We have to tell Him about our sadness, dreams, dissapointments. Give God all your burdens , open yourself as a child, giving all away to Him.
In the darkest moments He is the closest to you. So welcome trials in your life, God works deeply through them in you.
We are created to be around one another, but sometimes we are too proud, shamed to speak.
And when we start to serve we pray to God: Give me Love for those people. We can go to a sertain point, after that God comes and goes on.
Every day you must make decisions, to trust God!
In God we trust.

Also an awesome letter that was shared with us.

1 Pete 5:7
"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for You"

A letter from God

Good Morning!
This is your Father speaking.
Did you sleep well?
I hope you did!
There is no need for you to worry or loose any sleep, although I do not sleep or slumber. Today I will be handling all of your problems. However if life happens to deliver a situation that you cannot handle, do not attempt to resolve it on your own. I will do that.
Just remember: I do not need your help!
Please put it in the box marked SFGTD (Stuff for God to do)
Once the matter is placed in the box, do not hold on to it or attempt to resolve it yourself. This will merely delay the resolution of your problem. I will address it in my own time, not yours. Rest, my dear child, and if you need me at any time, simply call me up. I am just a prayer away!
Have a nice day.
I love you.
GOD


Saturday

We talked about words.
God said and this happend. We are similar to God. We can build up and also tear down. Who doesn't sin with tounge is capable of watching their body.
What we have in our heart comes out by words.
Take lead in your thoughts, not by tounge but by your mind, thoughts.
Who loves life and wants to see good days will hold his toung.
The Bible is asking us to pray, to pray for others. They say that 2 years in your life you learn how to speak and the other 60 years you learn how to pray.
Do good to those who hate you.
Colossians 3: 23-24
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving!"


 So this was part of the conference I had a chance to witness!! What a great Joy to be His daughter :)

Home.

I have never had my personal space that is only for me and I don't have to worry of showing my emotions showing how I really feel and not being worried if I am too loud or if I am disturbing others.
I have days where I just dream what it would look like etc. And sometimes I think I would do whatever it takes to get there.
It comes and goes.. but I guess it is very hard on those "bad days". And then I get the feeling I am not pleased or I am just overacting a little too much.
I don't want to be selfish but sometimes I just wish I have this place I can go to and not worry about others, I can be who I am and express myself freely.

Dreaming is nice! But I also have to keep one foot down on the ground otherwise I start living in this dream and it will stop me from realising things more important than this...

Good night my little notebook