Year ago.

   This is my first post in english. I have no idea why I didnt do this earlier, but let's give it a try.


It's been two years since I used blogger. It feels so weird to start using this again but I have to start writing whats going on. I feel like this is a good way to express how I feel and what I am dealing with. I'm not a writer but I will be honest and hopefully everything will be from my heart.
Oh wow I have so many things I gotta tell you. everything that has happened with this last year in my life.
I will start from last summer because that time really did something to me. God really blessed me and suprised me.
So I finished school last summer and 6months before my school was over my papa ( some of you don't know but I have a grandfather  sent from God - a Big Blessing in my life) told me that he would like to invite me to the Sates after I graduate. Well this was a BIG news and something unexpected... totally. Well so he started talking about it more and told me how he want me to see FBC Bryan where he is from and also give me a chance to see my friends and just have an awesome summer in Texas. I really didn't have faith in all of this because this felt so unreal. I had been dreaming of this since I was young. I talked to Taivo about it, he is like my brother and we I told him about everything and we started talking.. We both actually have been dreaming about going to the States almost 6years.. Wow... So durind that time I was afraid if this will come true or not. But still deep down I was just so excited and flying up in the sky with all those emotions, feelings and more that I couln't even express with people. Only thing I could really show was hope that this will come true.
I was thankful for God even hearing about this opportunity . And I just shared my joy with the youth and really prayed about this a lot. Prayed that if God really has this planned for me then I would not step back.
      So months passed and it was getting closer to summer. I think during spring time me and Beth applied for ESTA that would let me enter USA up to 90 days. I was so nervous about all of this but so happy that Beth who is sooo organized with documents and important stuff helped me out on this one. We filled it out and I crossed my fingers that everything will be good now and I just have to wait for summer to come. By that time I already knew that I HAVE TICKETS not really in my hands but I had them. Ralph had them. SUmmer came and it was time to graduate. All those months I really didnt think about a lot.. mostly what it will be like over the ocean. I graduated and was proud of myself. My exams went well and I was just so excited.
   Like any other summer, Salem had youth camp coming up. Something really awesome we have. People from TX come to serve and share their 2 weeks with people mostly they don't know. There are some old fishes who come every year but half of the team always changes. This time everything was different-I knew that these are the people I'm going back with... FIRST time something like this happens I think.. Mostly we send them off with Big tears in our eyes.
Everything was about to change. After camp and all that fun we had with the team it was time to go... go to THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!!!!  I still remermber that night I had already said goodbye to my family and my dad had gave me his precious camera that I loved. I wasn't so good at taking pictures with it but I didn't care. So the night came and we went on a but. Ohh I forgot to tell you that Marko Aarna.. he was also one who got this present. Me and him we were SO ready to go. Everyone else was sad.. we weren't ... I remember how people said goodbye and shared some tears.. I felt like I was about to do something totally out of my mind.. So..... we were on the bus in the middle of the night it was like 3AM and we started our journey. All of that traveling... I was just SUPER excited all the time I couldn't even sleep normally. Even during all of that flying .. I just couldn't . We almost lost some of the team members in Germany because of some misunderstanding between some airport workers and the team members.. But everything went well and they got on a flight. People were nervous but I .. I think I was just totally... So hard to even put into words but people who have had their first looooooong flight to somewhere they have always wanted to go..they'll understand what I mean..I hope.

                                                                                   So my time in Texas!
                                                                                    Some lovely people had came to say Welcome with their cute balloons and Big smiles on their faces. SO sweet!!!
And When we got out of the airport we got this moist warmer then warm air waiting us with sign: Welcome to Texas!! Place where you have Sauna outside.                                                                

I saw the church. It is just huge. I've never seen church this big. All of this what I saw it just amazed me every time.  First Baptist Bryan is the name of this church. And yes Everything is Bigger in Texas. This dreamland.. Aggieland and all of those students. You can kinda compare it to Tartu. If there would be no students then it would be much more of a quiet city.
SO.. all the adventure. During my time awesome people from the church and also from different states thanks to this awesome camp I got to participate in . This month and a half I had felt like home. I got to meet German kids who came to visit Bryan as well. I made some good friends who I now miss. I had a fantastic time with my TX friends who shared their culture, food, places. Living with Papa was just wonderful and he made everything home to me. I love his truck.. I even got to see where he works and help out with stuff. I had the best time with him and during that trip I saw my love growing for my wonderful papa. Just the feeling to do the most basic things there.. like going to Walmart..shopping or going by church every morning just to get some ice and seeing Ronny Jones working early in the morning and talk to him a bit.. felt so right and so natural. I have to tell you about the old people I met. Ohh Wow!! They rock.. How awesome they are and how friendly and actually talking to you and asking about your life. I got to serve every week when they had Wednesday dinner. We were selling tickets and seeing them coming in and hearing them talk made me smile every single time. I just wish more of the youth would attend those events. Food is Delicious, people are nice and you get to have dinner with a Big family!!  Church people really made me smile.. they made me feel so loved. I am thankful to God for those people.
Everything was GOOD!! I got to spend a week in Mississippi camp. I think one of the coolest things I did while visiting USA. This is what really made me think about the future and what I would love to do but it is now up to God if He wants me to do.
 So trying to say shortly what happened in Mississippi: We went to this camp with FBC youth and this camp was for students from different states. I had the chance to choose what I would like to do for a mission field and I got kids. So every morning when we had camp morning time we went to our teams and got to study bible and share our thoughts and get to know each other. I had an awesome team and I had even two German kids who went to this camp with FBC Bryan. So we did biblestudy with them and we got prepared for the mission field. We went to our field for 3h every day. We got to organize different activities for kids in different age groups.. We actually were splid up into a smaller group about 4 people and we got our own age group.. ours was 10-12 years old. we had to prepare biblestudy, games, grafts, music and free time. Every team had the same biblestory so all the kids got the same story every day but in age groups. We had so much fun with those kids. I was responsible of music and I got to share estonian circle song called Kes aias. Song about bees basically getting to know the names song. Fun. During our free time we had a chance to talk to them and be around with them and maybe bond in a different level. It was amazing because we got to share Bible verses with them assuring them that God is Real. We prayed for our kids every morning and God really changed lives. One girl particularly. She was so against us being there and spending time. But we praied and I believe her heart was changed. She listened to our stories after that and asked questions and she really wanted to know more about Jesus and he Heavenly Father.
I made some special friends while I was with the kids and I got myself a little brother. So basically these kids who come there are from homes where parents have to work a lot and the kids are often playing outside and not always doing good stuff. This place ..is for them to come and be in a safe environment and where people get to show lots of love. We had a rule not to pick up the children or hold them because of their rules and just for the safety of the kids and the people who work there. I wanted to hold them all the time. But it was possible to do that while sitting. So I got to hold one girl. SHe was a princess. Her attitude and everything.
  Anyways I tell you about this because this ment a lot to me. It was one of the best weeks ever. And it made me really feel like this is something I would love to do in the future. I had a connection with those kids and they have a piece of my heart.
To think about it now a year later it brings me tears and joy. I hope the best for them and I am so blessed to know them and pray for them and I will never forget those kids I met.
Even though not everything is awesome with God I still have joy in Him when I think about the people I met. Last summer was the best Summer I have had and I pray that if this desire I have is something I can do good with then I would know for sure. If this is what I am called to do.. care for the lost ones, give my time to kids who need someone to remind them God's love and help them to seek for Him and be friends with Jesus, then I will be more then Blessed to do so.
I thought I will teach them a lot but truly I learned more then I expected!!
This camp changed my heart!!!

But I did have tons of fun in TX and I got to spend time with people who have special needs. I got to see american roller coasters.. I got to see how money is made. I got to taste real good Bluebell icecream, frozen joghurt. Saw some awesome shops, selling everything you can basically dream of. A lot of worldy stuff but also one of my favourite places Scripture Haven. Store where you can buy what your soul really needs. Books about God!!!!   I enjoyed biblestudy with highschool students. I saw people searching His word and really wanting to be changed. I got to share stories and hear people stories. I was in a multicultural environment every day. I saw how people struggle with rassism even now, today in this nice town called Bryan. it made my heart sad especially after this amazing camp with colorful people. But I also got to enjoy the sun and the beach and people and God. I had an awesome time with God and awesome time learning. I did more then I would ever imagine myself doing there.

After I left TX I truly felt like half of me was left behind. What made it harder to leave was on that day, it was Sunday so I would have enjoyed last service more but my flight was leaving in the morning while church was taking place but something went wrong with getting the time right I was supposed to leave. So when Papa left me to catch my flight me already trying hard to keep my tears back I got to my gate and people around me were Asian.. I was suprised how many Asian people are flying to Germany but it turned out that those people went to China instead and I was told my I have 7h before my flight. 7Hours !!!! So I had to wait..and wait.. walk around and wait.. see people leaving and then again..wait. It made my leaving so hard.. I did cry.. whenever people didn't really see me.. But for first time flying alone and changing flights I did goood. I was so proud of myself. But whenever I was in Estonia and ready to land.. I wasn't ready to get off the plain. I was in  shock when arriving Tallinn Airport.. My cloud of sadness was all over me.. My dad was there waiting for me but I really didn't want to even hug him.. I just felt terrible.. I didn't want to talk to anyone for days. I even asked Beth to give me keys for her apartment because she was in Texas. SUmmer 2010, God showed me how He can work in people and through them. I was touched by different cultures and have now a bigger desire to go to different nations. I enjoyed my every moment there.

A LOT has been written down but I feel like there could be a lot more to say..It is just hard to put it into words and find the right words to describe what I felt and how God worked in me.
Let's say that I was filled with God's love and grace the entire time!

Liis